Currently Reading Kafka on the Shore, Vol 2 of 2 (in traditional Chinese) By Haruki Murakami see related

Summer's been quite ordinary for me, but if not because of the courses, I would have been in Hunan at this time. Well, had physics classes for 10 afternoons as soon as the vacation began. Then on exactly the last night of physics I started my trip to ShangHai with mom. Maybe not a very very pleasant one, considering all the arguements and a few places that made me wanted to be by myself, but it was really nice, and nothing far from what I've imagined. Loved the modern part of the city, as well as the old one, as long as it is not so dirty, or so dangerous with that many motorcycles. Most interesting is that 4 or 5 groups of people stopped me while I was walking around by myself since mother had meeting for the last 2 days and asked me if I had free time to make a advertisement for them...I wonder why sunglasses are so attractive...'cause all that happened when I had my sunglasses on, though it may have nothing to do with it.

Stayed there for a week and back the day before yesterday, baked cheese cake successfully on Grandma's birthday and I enjoyed it very much. The next day was boring, but maybe because I made it boring. I didn't feel like doing anything, except playing piano, though, playing something beautiful always makes me feel comfortable. Worrying for my poor eyes, they are getting really really worse. I had to look very closely when I was seeing the Spainish art exhibition in ShangHai, which made me frustrated. Went to piano class today, and I could tell the teacher was disappointed, very much disappointed. Well, that's how it should be, after all, I only practised for 2 days after I was back, but I think I managed it quite well that the teacher maybe thought I'd been practicing for 4 or 5 times. Soon from August 2nd I'll start my SAT course, which lasts 20 days, but I consider it fun, since SAT is quite easy ( at least the math part ), besides, I can have lunch outside, during which I can avoid grandma's warning about healthy diet. I mean, I'm not on diet, but I just can't eat that much as she thinks.

He just had an operation on the leg, she and I went to see him on 29th, his birthday. She and I had cold noodles in the shop we went last time. We were both empty, maybe since we entered high school. She and I spoke little words that only we could understand.This is so different from this time last year. I remember we went to the west hill together, now he is on the bed and we are losing ourselves. Three of us had been very very deeply connected friends ¡ª¡ªor maybe you would rather not call that friends only, not lovefair either, perhaps brothers and sisters but not with the kind of bloody thing. I don't know.

Decided to read the orginal vision of  The Romance of Three Kingdoms in the next month, hopefully, though, with SAT and everything. I guess I need some relax, indeed. Mom says I make people around me feel nervous, though I can't figure that out myself. I don't know, maybe not intentionally, it's just I'm often serious with everything, except with several particular persons.I'm definitely time oriented, I hate people who waste my time, I'm just gonna kill the person...

The weather is wet but cool these days, I like it.

It's Art festival in our school, and I'm so busy right now ( well, ok, I've already realized that I'm busy all the time, but this time, it's really really busy~ do believe me ^-^)

Life has been quite ordinary since school started. Our teacher kept emphasizing how important this term is, because we are ending our Geography, History and computer course for senior high this year, the test will be in June, which is not long from now, indeed. I don't feel nervous really, but I just want to do my best.

I don't know, I think I will list a few things I have been doing or planning to do or whatever... just...almost everything =P

• Go to Takundo classes regularly now, my leg hurts every time when I come back from the class, we kick a lot
• Piano class is always interesting, I'm playing An der schonen blauen Donau and No. 40 of Czerny 299 now, it feels great when you play something very quickly, and you fix your mind on it, concentrating so hard that you feel like flying
• Mom wants me to take a SAT course this summer, she wants me to take SAT test in end of the year, I figure it won't be too hard for me, well...hopefully
• Mid term exam's coming soon, have to work hard!!
• Our class's chorus for the art festival is fantastic, we bought dresses for girls and the boys had to wear tie, which looks funny on them, because they all seem so not like the type of person who should wear a tie, u know
• Model United Nations Conference was held in Peking University on March 3rd to 5th, it was really interesting, I liked it when people call each other their country's names instead of thier own names, because then you will feel like you are really some one  lol
• reading "The Story of Psychology" recently ( I didn't find it on amazon.com) . you will never imagine how enjoyable it is to know all about this. Grandparents say psychologists are easy to have psycho problems themselves, I think so, too. But then I thought they are easier to cure, as well...
• let's see...what's more......it's getting warmer now, and good weather always brings me good mood, except the wind, which is horrible
• I'm trying to keep my cell off as long as there's nothing urgent or necessaty, since there's this very guy who seems to like sending messages very much, and I hate it ( to be more precise, I hate people sending so many at a time or one after another, because you will have to waste all your time without noticing, and besides, his messages doesn't make any sense, I mean, they are just nothing important or that interests me )
• I found myself easy to get sleepy these days and i always wanted to give myself a little vacation, then the result is, I happen to be resting all the time!! this is not gonna work, no, I must keep myself bright, I can't spend days like it's weekend every day
• I don't know what makes me think of my years in primary schools so much these days. then I wondered wether I had ever done any homework at primary school, because I never remember myself doing any! and I can hardly remember what I did after school if there really wasn't homework to do, i mean, I can't have just gone to bed every day as soon as i came back from school!
• just found a bunch of  my classmates' online journal, which impressed me a lot, since I never knew they thought that way. I mean, they are completely not themselves in their journals! or maybe they are just not themselves in real lives
• I did a personality test online, just for fun, and the result :

Melancholy  Strength:6 Weakness:9

38%

Phlegmatic  Strength:3 Weakness:2

13%

Sanguine  Strength:4 Weakness:4

20%

Choleric  Strength:7 Weakness:5

30%

I never knew myself as Melancholy?! but maybe...'cause I think too much

And I thought I was quite phlegmatic...but well...I still don't really believe in this test, maybe I will do another one next time...

OMG, 2 hours passed again, AGAIN!!! I have to stop... 

imagine life is running up and down in the endless stairs......

Can't imagine the vacation's gonna end in 2 days!!! Want very much to have some more days off and rest my mind. I've kept myself busy for almost all the vacation, and I finally decided to relax a little these days. So bravely, I spent the whole reading a book yesterday, which was so like a life of a senior. Then I watched a movie in the afternoon, it was one of those old Taiwan-made films, but still very interesting.

Went shopping with grandparents today, bought clothes for MUN conference on March 3rd, it was probably the most expensive dress they've ever bought me, and, to tell the truth, I don't think they will buy sth as expensive as that in the future, either! Well, it wasn't that expensive actually, but just relatively speaking. 80 percent,70 percent off every where, since Chinese new year has ended. People were like crazy in the mall. The discount is very attractive indeed. It's always like this, for women mainly, you never want to give up even a tiny chance of getting a discount, even if you don't need something, you will still think it's a pity that you didn't buy it during the sale, and then you bought it with great satisfaction, thinking you saved a great deal of money on this thing. Then, after a few days, you begin to regret, since you don't need that thing at all, and even of there is a discount, you've spent money, and the money is unnecessary, so that's kinda sad, you know. But...Well...hm...the thing is, I'm regreting not because I bought something, but because I didn't buy that pair of shoes which is 80 percent off! And, sadly, I figured I'll never see those shoes with such low price again! Sad-ing....

Currently Reading A Brief History of Time : The Updated and Expanded Tenth Anniversary Edition By Stephen Hawking see related

Yeppi! It's vacation again! 

Big snow in Beijing yesterday, extraordinary  cold these days...but i feel like watching the snow falling and cover the ground with pure white, it's a feeling of fresh and freedom.

Though I planned to have a relaxed holiday, I still found myself quite busy with many things to do --- not to mention all those homework. The physics class starts from yesterday afternoon and AMC on 15th. But still, it's vacation, so I needn't get up so early in the morning, and the most important thing is I have plenty of time to read books.

I've been reading "The story of psychology" by Morton Hunt recently, and I found it really interesting ( though in the very beginning, it seems that the book was all about philosophy, but nvm, since it is always appropriate to put philosophy in the first part of the history of almost everything!) . Anyway, I took the book wherever I go and read it as fast as I can. It's quite amazing when u read about Freud Sigmund doing the analysis of psychology for the mad people, and his explaination for dreams. And also, his point of view on sexual desire of human beings is very special at his time. 

 The funny part is The Oedipal crisis

Here's how the Oedipal crisis works: The first love-object for all of us is our mother. We want her attention, we want her affection, we want her caresses, we want her, in a broadly sexual way. The young boy, however, has a rival for his mother's charms: his father! His father is bigger, stronger, smarter, and he gets to sleep with mother, while junior pines away in his lonely little bed. Dad is the enemy.

About the time the little boy recognizes this archetypal situation, he has become aware of some of the more subtle differences between boys and girls, the ones other than hair length and clothing styles. From his naive perspective, the difference is that he has a penis, and girls do not. At this point in life, it seems to the child that having something is infinitely better than not having something, and so he is pleased with this state of affairs.

But the question arises: where is the girl's penis? Perhaps she has lost it somehow. Perhaps it was cut off. Perhaps this could happen to him! This is the beginning of castration anxiety, a slight misnomer for the fear of losing one's penis.

To return to the story, the boy, recognizing his father's superiority and fearing for his penis, engages some of his ego defenses: He displaces his sexual impulses from his mother to girls and, later, women; And he identifies with the aggressor, dad, and attempts to become more and more like him, that is to say, a man. After a few years of latency, he enters adolescence and the world of mature heterosexuality.

The girl also begins her life in love with her mother, so we have the problem of getting her to switch her affections to her father before the Oedipal process can take place. Freud accomplishes this with the idea of penis envy: The young girl, too, has noticed the difference between boys and girls and feels that she, somehow, doesn't measure up. She would like to have one, too, and all the power associated with it. At very least, she would like a penis substitute, such as a baby. As every child knows, you need a father as well as a mother to have a baby, so the young girl sets her sights on dad.

Freud also relates this to some of his patients' madness, he once diagnosed a boy with the Oedipal crisis. The boy was afraid to go on the street because he is afraid that horses will bite him. Freud explains this is because the boy removes his envy of father to the horse, he is afraid that the horse will harm his penis.

Sex sure is a part of human nature, but I'm not sure if human really need it, is it truely an necessary inner desire, or a thing that's just like luxuries around --- people like them but do not really need them and could as well live a very good life without those luxuries? Is there, or, will there even be love without a reason of sexual desire?

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Reading " A brief history of time" is much more enjoyable than I thought. Though sometimes I'm clear about what I'm reading when I was actually reading it and I get confused a little later. =P It seems that physics has always confused me in a strange way. The more I think abt it the more I get confused, then if I think even further, I become clear again. The knowledge seems so absolute and obvious, but at the same time, so like a mystery and hard to see through. I wonder if human have a born ability of recognizing nature, we seem to know a lot long before we really recognize we've learnt them. And how astonishing when you tell urself the stars u see are millions and millions of years ago! And how even more astonishing when you imagine someone on another planet ( well, let us just suppose...) sees you when you are already history to this world in front of you. Distance makes time difference... Light measures time... hmm...it's still a little hard for me to accept that we can really measure time with light, which is something we can really feel and see.

This is a long entry again, I have to thank all of you who have been patient enough to read all those stuff above~ Thanx.